Life as a couple

When I first moved in with you, we were madly in love. I did NOT have debt, my slate was clean, having lost everything except furniture and clothes from my marriage of 19 years. We were boyfriend and girlfriend, living together and sharing the costs. I may not have handed you a check for the rent, but I paid for utilities (phone, water, electric, cable) and all food each month. That pretty much equals a share of the rent. If you doubt that, I can go back 9 years and pull up the checks used to pay for those things.

On several occasions at least 2 times prior to Novembers proposal, you asked me to Marry you. Once was on a Christmas morning in Stafford. I may be wrong in your eyes, but to me, being a couple means sharing. We shared costs when living there, and because there was trouble balancing the budget, and people were coming after your bank account, we joined bank accounts to protect you. I have years of back monthly budgets to support this. I don't think anywhere on there was there a listing for "rip ron off." Everything was paid from there. And yes, it is unfortunate that my salary did not equal yours, but for 9 years you said that it was not an issue. It is an issue now because you need to paint me as a thief, a user, and yet another projection of your guilt. A thieving roomy, and not a partner.

The famous 401 K. On at least 2 years of Geico time, my cash from profit sharing was sent entirely to the state of WV for back child support. One time, it was used as a vacation for your then not ex wife. ($960) Did that piss me off? Yes, but for you, not because of you. I drew on the account again to move, meant to be into my own place in Stafford, and eventually used to pay for a moving truck and first and last on the rental in Inwood. After that, and leaving Geico due to their plans for me, and the situation of your seeing Alisha at home when I was away...the account was borrowed from again. The garnishments to you pay checks went on for almost 3 years. In order to make sure everything was paid, that money was taken out. When Uncle Sam wanted $5000 plus from you, we knew that we could not make it if they garnished your checks as well.

So it was paid for, by me. Any money you got back, for the other years that were then filed for, went into the account and were used for bills.

That pretty much details it. In No Way did I ever steal from you. I made it my job to make sure that "WE" made it. It is what couples do, share. Since I believed you that we were going to married,( and yes, I did believe without the license that I was in every sense your wife) our bank account was just a practical beginning to that. I never got rich from your money. We made it as a team, couple, fiancées, partners.

The situation I find myself in financially, is not all my fault. I did not give up on us, you did. And for all your posturing about being unhappy, that is also bullshit. You are, and always have been very Moody. Using me as an excuse for doing something Heinous and meant to hurt and was all for you..well, I have already said selfish a thousand times, and I still feel that way.

You are no different than millions of other men when they hit their 40's, mid life crisis..trying to reinvent yourself, so you are not original. Only you tried to reinvent yourself at least 9 times before you were successful in getting rid of me. And the person who is being left is always to blame...also not original. Weak justification needs a good story to back it up. All fiction.

It all comes down to me seeing US as a couple, and you only seeing yourself.

So yes, I do agree with Vicki's psychological assessment. It may not all fit you, but quite a lot of it does.