One of my favorite scenes from Disney movie "Hocus Pocus" was of Sarah Jessica Parker portraying a ditzy blonde witch who danced around in a circle singing " Amuck! Amuck! Amuck!" Whenever I think of a word that someone repeats, that scene always comes to mind. ( actually 'Amuck' by definition means to "rush about wildly; or in a murderous frenzy, the first definition is what I believe it to be.) What brought this to mind tonight? The words "Ignore! Ignore! Ignore!" Someone else's byword, and words he lives by. Maybe he has forgotten, but I have not, the strategy he played with his first...the word being "Ignore." I was there you dork. Believe it or not, I remember you, and things that you did and still do.
It is not only people he cannot deal with that he ignores. It is a code he lives by. Testament to that fact are " taxes,""bills," and other "unpleasant reminders." It gets shelved or tossed away, until the day comes when that particular unpleasantness comes back to bite him in the ass. Whether throwing them in the trash, or throwing them away from his life, his style remains the same.
One of the memories that comes to mind is the "budget." When I was forced to remove myself from my home, I had 2 huge shelves to pack up.( I gave 3 garbage bags of books to some poor lady at a used bookstore who thought her day would be filled with windexing the countertops...oops!) On my packing of said shelves I also found notebooks, paper, notecards and empty files. Not mine, and I left them...what they were was years of R's plans to budget. Every time he decided to make an effort at taking care of business on his personal finances, he would go out and buy new "things." Every time. On cleaning drawers there was plenty of extra paper, pads, more notebooks. What happened to the plan after the purchase? Forgotten inside a month. So when we split bank acccounts, what did he do? He went out and bought more things to do a budget with including software. Do you know what I used and worked well for the 4 years that I did the budget? A blank piece of computer paper and a pen. Old fashioned, but hey, it works just fine. Easy to enter, easy to find, no additional work required.
Buying the goodies to help him 'project a budget' was for naught. He forgot or ignored it once he was required to revisit them. Taxes? bad subject, but the same. If he owed he ignored....for years..until Uncle Same came a calling. And I Paid them, with my retirement money.
So with all things unpleasant, people are also buried and forgotten, ignored. It is a practice that he has perfected over the years. Does it make those people go away? No. Does it change things that he did wrong? No. These are all things that I never talked about with him, for fear of a fight or hurting his feelings. (Ha! Sorry, laughter just popped out. Excuse me.) But you know what? Ignoring does not fix anything. If you don't deal, you lose. Another case in point..your son. It's very immature to believe that to forget something makes it not so...pretending. THAT is why you fail Ron. That is why your relationships fail..that and always looking to find someone better than those that already loved you. You went out and got a new one, to fix the fact that you are broken, to make it seem not so for a while. Your level of immaturity is a mockery to your years. Somewhere, at sometime, you stopped maturing. You can bullshit very well, with the best of them, but actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words. Whether ignoring unpleasant bills, or ignoring your mistakes, ignoring those that love you, you have perfected ignoring as a number one character trait. Yeah for you. Quite an accomplishment.
And why do you ignore me? Because I had zero tolerance for cheating, and you could not stop. Since I knew your flaws, loved and forgave you multiple times, you decided you better start over again with a new one, one that did not know what you do. Bury the past, start over..it's your pattern, and it does not work. Sooner or later you have to do it all over again, 'Ignore Man.'
It is not only people he cannot deal with that he ignores. It is a code he lives by. Testament to that fact are " taxes,""bills," and other "unpleasant reminders." It gets shelved or tossed away, until the day comes when that particular unpleasantness comes back to bite him in the ass. Whether throwing them in the trash, or throwing them away from his life, his style remains the same.
One of the memories that comes to mind is the "budget." When I was forced to remove myself from my home, I had 2 huge shelves to pack up.( I gave 3 garbage bags of books to some poor lady at a used bookstore who thought her day would be filled with windexing the countertops...oops!) On my packing of said shelves I also found notebooks, paper, notecards and empty files. Not mine, and I left them...what they were was years of R's plans to budget. Every time he decided to make an effort at taking care of business on his personal finances, he would go out and buy new "things." Every time. On cleaning drawers there was plenty of extra paper, pads, more notebooks. What happened to the plan after the purchase? Forgotten inside a month. So when we split bank acccounts, what did he do? He went out and bought more things to do a budget with including software. Do you know what I used and worked well for the 4 years that I did the budget? A blank piece of computer paper and a pen. Old fashioned, but hey, it works just fine. Easy to enter, easy to find, no additional work required.
Buying the goodies to help him 'project a budget' was for naught. He forgot or ignored it once he was required to revisit them. Taxes? bad subject, but the same. If he owed he ignored....for years..until Uncle Same came a calling. And I Paid them, with my retirement money.
So with all things unpleasant, people are also buried and forgotten, ignored. It is a practice that he has perfected over the years. Does it make those people go away? No. Does it change things that he did wrong? No. These are all things that I never talked about with him, for fear of a fight or hurting his feelings. (Ha! Sorry, laughter just popped out. Excuse me.) But you know what? Ignoring does not fix anything. If you don't deal, you lose. Another case in point..your son. It's very immature to believe that to forget something makes it not so...pretending. THAT is why you fail Ron. That is why your relationships fail..that and always looking to find someone better than those that already loved you. You went out and got a new one, to fix the fact that you are broken, to make it seem not so for a while. Your level of immaturity is a mockery to your years. Somewhere, at sometime, you stopped maturing. You can bullshit very well, with the best of them, but actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words. Whether ignoring unpleasant bills, or ignoring your mistakes, ignoring those that love you, you have perfected ignoring as a number one character trait. Yeah for you. Quite an accomplishment.
And why do you ignore me? Because I had zero tolerance for cheating, and you could not stop. Since I knew your flaws, loved and forgave you multiple times, you decided you better start over again with a new one, one that did not know what you do. Bury the past, start over..it's your pattern, and it does not work. Sooner or later you have to do it all over again, 'Ignore Man.'
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