During the middle of my work day (which was not too bad..a typical Sunday) one of my supervisors came over and asked me how old I was. Umm..I replied 50 ( so, I fibbed one year..sue me) and why are you asking? She said she was thinking about asking some of her male friends if they would be interested in dating me. Oh boy. I like her a lot, but I am not sure if we are attracted to the same type of men, everyone has different tastes. She has had a few stories to tell about her love life, and the problems that followed. I feel her pain, know her frustration, but a blind date? I am so not ready.
She was called away, and the other guards from my shift, who had been around us, started to talk about dating. I mentioned I was not sure if I was ready, it had really been 9 years since I last was in the dating world. One guard popped up to say he would tell his friends..and I thought.."Geez...oh no." Already a feeling of panic...but a little curiosity thrown in as well.
I know I am never going to find someone from my job to date. I don't flirt when I am at work, I do my job. Whatever interactions I have are usually just friendly, but remain professional. (except when I am not on the floor..and joking around with my friends.) That is strike one.
I am not planning on finding someone on-line. Been there, done that. I don't feel comfortable with that scene anymore. Who the hell knows who that person really is? That is strike two.
Thirdly, I am very hesitant to date again. As I have previously mentioned, I have baggage, trust issues almost to phobia proportions. In the past I had just cause. Would I ever give someone a real chance again without being paranoid? To be honest, I am not sure I will ever be able to, and that is not fair to them. Should I come with a warning sign?
" WARNING! Contents under pressure, may become unstable if used incorrectly." *
The final question is" finding men in a bar," my last alternative. I could walk in, have a drink, and advertise free sex with the mature lady. Really, truly, so not my style. But I am swaying the pros and cons, since it is a one night stand, no strings attached. Unfortunately when you have been drinking you do lower your standards per alcohol consumption. I might really hate myself in the morning. This is not the 80's, times have changed, as well as major health issues. Not to mention that they are also at the bar for a reason and that is what would stop me. Married and cheating, married and unhappy, loser of major proportions, etc. You have no idea what you are getting into, and folks, I don't need more trouble right now.
So..to date, or not to date? That is my question, and something I will likely ponder on for a while. My body says YES! My brain says "Hmm..let me think about it." and my heart screams "HELL NO! Stupid body, get with the program."
There is still a part of me that feels attached to my past. It is not something I can turn off, no matter WHAT he has done to me to get out of what he considered to be a mistake. I am not crying, I am not miserable, but I know, if nothing else, I miss our friendship. That was a huge part of our relationship, maybe the only part worth saving.
I will have to work through the other questions..and hope that life will lead me in the right direction. IF there IS someone out there for me, then it will happen, or it will not.
G'nite
K
She was called away, and the other guards from my shift, who had been around us, started to talk about dating. I mentioned I was not sure if I was ready, it had really been 9 years since I last was in the dating world. One guard popped up to say he would tell his friends..and I thought.."Geez...oh no." Already a feeling of panic...but a little curiosity thrown in as well.
I know I am never going to find someone from my job to date. I don't flirt when I am at work, I do my job. Whatever interactions I have are usually just friendly, but remain professional. (except when I am not on the floor..and joking around with my friends.) That is strike one.
I am not planning on finding someone on-line. Been there, done that. I don't feel comfortable with that scene anymore. Who the hell knows who that person really is? That is strike two.
Thirdly, I am very hesitant to date again. As I have previously mentioned, I have baggage, trust issues almost to phobia proportions. In the past I had just cause. Would I ever give someone a real chance again without being paranoid? To be honest, I am not sure I will ever be able to, and that is not fair to them. Should I come with a warning sign?
" WARNING! Contents under pressure, may become unstable if used incorrectly." *
The final question is" finding men in a bar," my last alternative. I could walk in, have a drink, and advertise free sex with the mature lady. Really, truly, so not my style. But I am swaying the pros and cons, since it is a one night stand, no strings attached. Unfortunately when you have been drinking you do lower your standards per alcohol consumption. I might really hate myself in the morning. This is not the 80's, times have changed, as well as major health issues. Not to mention that they are also at the bar for a reason and that is what would stop me. Married and cheating, married and unhappy, loser of major proportions, etc. You have no idea what you are getting into, and folks, I don't need more trouble right now.
So..to date, or not to date? That is my question, and something I will likely ponder on for a while. My body says YES! My brain says "Hmm..let me think about it." and my heart screams "HELL NO! Stupid body, get with the program."
There is still a part of me that feels attached to my past. It is not something I can turn off, no matter WHAT he has done to me to get out of what he considered to be a mistake. I am not crying, I am not miserable, but I know, if nothing else, I miss our friendship. That was a huge part of our relationship, maybe the only part worth saving.
I will have to work through the other questions..and hope that life will lead me in the right direction. IF there IS someone out there for me, then it will happen, or it will not.
G'nite
K
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