As the nine to fivers start their new week, I am finishing mine. What usually starts with a BANG each Friday, ends on a quiet note on Mondays. You have become accustomed to the pace that the last 3 days presented, and winding down on Mondays always feels surreal, too hushed. I will say one thing for our weekends at work, they go by fast and furious, no clock watching to be done, and weirdly, I appreciate that. but, my work week is now over.
Now I begin my days off, which I really used to look forward to...before January 14th that is. My Tuesdays used to be 'get it all done' days, so that 'someone' would not have to work around the house on his days off. Wednesdays and Thursdays were together days, and That is what I lived for. I truly had no resentment over doing the chores myself, I saw it as a way for the both of us to have good days off.
Now I struggle to just get through the days off that I used to look forward to. Once the busy work is done, I am left with nothing. I feel the emptiness of my new home, and it is no comfort. I am not one for bar scenes, ( even though I have contemplated it) and though my dear friends visit, I am still alone with my thoughts far too much. I still have memories of better days that linger.
There is nothing I can do to change this except to weather it out and hope I can adjust.
Why did I do what I did to help him before? In my heart I believed he was my husband, and I believed he felt I was his wife, or partner in life, and that is what you do to help each other. (the operative words there are " I believed") I cannot help but wonder what was I to him really ? That is a question that I have tossed over and over in my head for months now. Was it real? Or was I the only one who wanted it to be? What happened to my best friend? I am sure that I might sometime in the future look back and wonder at my naivety. But you know what? That is me..despite everything, I still look for the good in others. So I guess I will get burned again, God made me this way, and I am not going to change at this point in my life, I am set in my ways for Good.
So Yay...3 days off..with a bored cat and time to kill. Should be a real blast. Read about it in the newspapers. No wait..showing my age again..it will be an Internet headline...lol.
So..is it Friday yet? No?.... 'sigh.'...
K
Now I begin my days off, which I really used to look forward to...before January 14th that is. My Tuesdays used to be 'get it all done' days, so that 'someone' would not have to work around the house on his days off. Wednesdays and Thursdays were together days, and That is what I lived for. I truly had no resentment over doing the chores myself, I saw it as a way for the both of us to have good days off.
Now I struggle to just get through the days off that I used to look forward to. Once the busy work is done, I am left with nothing. I feel the emptiness of my new home, and it is no comfort. I am not one for bar scenes, ( even though I have contemplated it) and though my dear friends visit, I am still alone with my thoughts far too much. I still have memories of better days that linger.
There is nothing I can do to change this except to weather it out and hope I can adjust.
Why did I do what I did to help him before? In my heart I believed he was my husband, and I believed he felt I was his wife, or partner in life, and that is what you do to help each other. (the operative words there are " I believed") I cannot help but wonder what was I to him really ? That is a question that I have tossed over and over in my head for months now. Was it real? Or was I the only one who wanted it to be? What happened to my best friend? I am sure that I might sometime in the future look back and wonder at my naivety. But you know what? That is me..despite everything, I still look for the good in others. So I guess I will get burned again, God made me this way, and I am not going to change at this point in my life, I am set in my ways for Good.
So Yay...3 days off..with a bored cat and time to kill. Should be a real blast. Read about it in the newspapers. No wait..showing my age again..it will be an Internet headline...lol.
So..is it Friday yet? No?.... 'sigh.'...
K
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