I'd like to say that all my entries on this blog will contain hope for tomorrow. Obviously the last few have not. I am still reacting, and getting more bad news daily from the consequences of the dumping. It is hard to maintain an upbeat blog when bad news is the only news you receive.
"I" am the hamster now, running on my wheel and trying to get a handle on anything I can do to heal my finances, because my future depends on that. Like an emergency room triage, slap a bandage on and hope I can stop the bleeding. Frankly, unless I win the lottery, or another such miracle happens soon, I really am facing destitution. There is no way, even working seven out of seven days, that my paycheck could even touch my debt. As it stands right now, working over time keeps me under a roof, pays for my car, and feeds me..somewhat..I don't shop often. There is nothing left over, not a penny. So when the they decide to come after my pay...I'm shit out of luck.
So if I seem bitter towards someone who used me and then got rid of me once I could no longer pay for the things our budget would not cover...yes I am bitter. I gave out of love. I was and am being paid back with sneering arrogance, coldness, and mocking laughter at my misfortune. ( I know you read the blogs together, you ass) He acts like he has nothing to be sorry for. In fact, if not for him, changing his mind about 'suddenly loving me' again in 2007,(because I had the move money and he did not..) .I would have been in a much better place financially and emotionally right now. And his ass , would be in jail for what he could not pay. Instead, he kept someone who he must not have loved, to use until such time I was not useful anymore. I did love him and would have done anything to stay with him., and he knew it. If he did love me, he never would have done this. Wow...how can I not be bitter?
Tomorrow....maybe I will catch a break.( I hope.) Until then, please bear with me V and M. Thanks for your support..it really means a great deal to me.
K
"I" am the hamster now, running on my wheel and trying to get a handle on anything I can do to heal my finances, because my future depends on that. Like an emergency room triage, slap a bandage on and hope I can stop the bleeding. Frankly, unless I win the lottery, or another such miracle happens soon, I really am facing destitution. There is no way, even working seven out of seven days, that my paycheck could even touch my debt. As it stands right now, working over time keeps me under a roof, pays for my car, and feeds me..somewhat..I don't shop often. There is nothing left over, not a penny. So when the they decide to come after my pay...I'm shit out of luck.
So if I seem bitter towards someone who used me and then got rid of me once I could no longer pay for the things our budget would not cover...yes I am bitter. I gave out of love. I was and am being paid back with sneering arrogance, coldness, and mocking laughter at my misfortune. ( I know you read the blogs together, you ass) He acts like he has nothing to be sorry for. In fact, if not for him, changing his mind about 'suddenly loving me' again in 2007,(because I had the move money and he did not..) .I would have been in a much better place financially and emotionally right now. And his ass , would be in jail for what he could not pay. Instead, he kept someone who he must not have loved, to use until such time I was not useful anymore. I did love him and would have done anything to stay with him., and he knew it. If he did love me, he never would have done this. Wow...how can I not be bitter?
Tomorrow....maybe I will catch a break.( I hope.) Until then, please bear with me V and M. Thanks for your support..it really means a great deal to me.
K
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