Sometimes, I still catch myself wondering where the years all went. I think I would still be ok with it, if I was not starting over at my age. Just a thought, nothing to go on about. I feel as though I have lost time, that it slipped away from me, not something I can ever get back, or do over. Wishing for a time machine seems silly, but sometimes I do. Thinking if I could go back and start again, and correct my mistakes, would it make any true difference to how my life turned out?
*** I would run as fast as I could away from HIM***
Sometimes (weirdly), I wonder if he thinks about that too. Is he trying to make up for lost time? I did something similar at his age and found him at the end of the search. His middle age crisis came with a knife to cut out my heart, and a boot to kick me out to make room for the "Little" baby.
***Wow..what huge mistake I made.***
***and he dumped me for someone in her 20's.. him being 43***
We always say if we can go back with what we know now..what if that were not an option? Would we make the same choices? Act any differently? Who really knows. Feeling a little melancholy tonight, thinking about the past, and not just those years I spent with him, there were other times. I truly did think that my Golden years would be spent at his side though, and I was happy about that. Now I wonder if I will have golden years. Golden implies a glow of happy and rich..hmmm..nope. Maybe I could just hope for really good lighting. Ha.
***Golden..really..Not... Not after Ron used me up.***
. My mirror is not my friend these days. Time seems to have caught up with me. My weight loss is not being kind..tone has taken a vacation..and it makes me sad/angry. I have decided though, to fight it. I am going to start exercising on the days I am not at work. Long walks, toning..anything to keep this aging at bay. I do hope though, that I will age gracefully and graciously. It will happen, just please God, not all at once! It is more than my ego can take.
** and Dude..your body will also betray you...you'd better believe it**
Maybe it is because I had no children of my own that I fight so hard against going the grandmother route. It really does not seem fair. I get the age without the benefits. I'd like some time back please..like the last 15 years..that would be good. Yes please. And throw in some good decisions as a bonus..thank you very much. Please..good decisions.
sorry for rambling tonight..
K
*** I would run as fast as I could away from HIM***
Sometimes (weirdly), I wonder if he thinks about that too. Is he trying to make up for lost time? I did something similar at his age and found him at the end of the search. His middle age crisis came with a knife to cut out my heart, and a boot to kick me out to make room for the "Little" baby.
***Wow..what huge mistake I made.***
***and he dumped me for someone in her 20's.. him being 43***
We always say if we can go back with what we know now..what if that were not an option? Would we make the same choices? Act any differently? Who really knows. Feeling a little melancholy tonight, thinking about the past, and not just those years I spent with him, there were other times. I truly did think that my Golden years would be spent at his side though, and I was happy about that. Now I wonder if I will have golden years. Golden implies a glow of happy and rich..hmmm..nope. Maybe I could just hope for really good lighting. Ha.
***Golden..really..Not... Not after Ron used me up.***
. My mirror is not my friend these days. Time seems to have caught up with me. My weight loss is not being kind..tone has taken a vacation..and it makes me sad/angry. I have decided though, to fight it. I am going to start exercising on the days I am not at work. Long walks, toning..anything to keep this aging at bay. I do hope though, that I will age gracefully and graciously. It will happen, just please God, not all at once! It is more than my ego can take.
** and Dude..your body will also betray you...you'd better believe it**
Maybe it is because I had no children of my own that I fight so hard against going the grandmother route. It really does not seem fair. I get the age without the benefits. I'd like some time back please..like the last 15 years..that would be good. Yes please. And throw in some good decisions as a bonus..thank you very much. Please..good decisions.
sorry for rambling tonight..
K
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