Waiting

The waiting game..and still ..I wait. Sometimes I wonder if this time in my life is a test to my patience..lol. I make phone calls...and wait. I visit offices..and wait. I apply for loans..and wait. It's testing me..I know it. Fate or Life, or even God..I think has a wager going how it will take till I explode with frustration. What am I waiting for?

1. pension information to submit my paperwork for licensing-previous employer-who seems to not understand my need for speed.

2. Sunshine fund committees decision on 'yea or nay' so I can file bankruptcy.-the axe will fall or they will throw me a line.

3. Both of those things have to occur before I can truly start my new job one level up and be paid for it.

4. Taxes and death..I have to file a new W4, and suffer the consequences. That and the payback on the 'loan' will determine if I need a second job..big time less pay..on an already low paycheck.

5. And finally, my courage. To take the next step in finding someone new. I have reasons why

I believe I cannot take it. I am hoping time will soften that reason and let it disappear. If not..then I won't be looking because I my heart is too conflicted.

All this waiting..has been months in the process of starting over. I feel stuck, like my momentum has stalled, and most of it is not my fault,though some is. I make deadlines for myself and do my best to stick with them. So..I am chilling, cooling my heels, and trying to float through the last of this stuff without hitting the freaking out button, lol.

This has just been an update for those who catch me here only.

hugs,

k