Adrift

Adrift

Cut from my mooring and floating away,
My boat rolls with the waves, oarless,
going where the wind and the currents take me.


Eyes search the horizon that blurs with blue where the water meets
the sky, sunlight glinting on faraway waves.
Nothing else in sight, but I can hear the call of gulls
that faintly echo from a distant shore, and the slapping
of water against  the hull of the boat.


A fog gently rolls in, ghosting the sunlight away, till even
the boat is misty around me.
Perched on my seat, hands holding onto either side
as the boat rolls over and down each passing wave.
The fog chills and sends goosebumps over my skin.


Where will this current take me?
Endless rolling waves, with no destination,
no land in sight.
Wishing for a way to control the boat, 
but without paddles or a sail, there is
no way to guide my journey.


Destination, future unknown.
I am adrift.
There is no sense of freedom in being lost,
no port to which my heart can call home.


*****************


This more than anything personifies how I have been feeling since the pain and heart ache has dulled.  Cast on a journey, not of my choosing, no direction, no way to drive myself towards a place I am as of yet, unaware even exists. I have nothing besides work.  This is limbo...and I am not enjoying the journey so far. To me if a home does not hold my heart, it is simply a box I rest in at the end of the day  I am not sad...just not appreciating the fog that is my future. And to my friends that worry, don't. I really am not feeling depressed, just directionless, inspiration has not yet reached me to make the journey more interesting.  This is the waiting I was trying to describe in the poem above.