Betrayal and all it's Joys.

How easy it is for you to intentionally hurt for selfish and fleeting gains. I'm sure those orgasms will be felt for how long? 30 seconds? Less? How cheaply you value Love, to throw away something good for something so very cheap. Does it make you feel like a man to destroy the ones who love you? Do you gain some perceivable notch in your totem of life for tearing apart a relationship that you know was not bad for something so incredibly stupid?

I know I have had trust issues...and that was the worst of us. I wonder why I had them?


For an intelligent man you know nothing. Everything about you is cheapened by your behavior. Your integrity, your value, your honor (hard to say that word) your place as a man in this world. What you don't have...you feel you have been somehow deprived of the good in this world, and are determined to replace that with a life of complete bullshit.
So..use people up and throw them away. What a humanitarian, what a selfish asshole.
You can make up bullshit excuses for the rest of your life...and you will be lying to yourself first, and others second.
As for what you said about dates...you were cheating before you attempted to end us. Jan 5th. A present for yourself..a knife to one who loves you.

You need to set back and wonder how proud your parents would be to see how you are turning out. You made an attempt, and quit. Your Father has left for his next life, and yes you feel a huge loss at not having him here anymore..but do you really think he does not know you still? I firmly believe in an after life. I know with certainty that it may not be a heaven filled with angels, but my loved ones are waiting for me, watching. Their spirits and souls are still alive. Ask any widow or widower who have been with a loved one for countless decades, and they will tell you that they will be with them again some day. How do you know this is not true? Ah yes, you chose to believe in nothing. How convenient for you.

Love so easily thrown away. Like yesterdays garbage, out with the old, in with the new.
I'm not through fighting. I don't care if I cry for 6 months. You will not make me give up on us, or on myself. I have honestly considered violence, though that is not my way. If I have nothing to lose, nothing to look forward to in this life but the pain of a broken heart, then surely..time in jail is one way to spend it.
I won't give up, and I will not respect your wishes for a sad and forgotten future.