For what it's worth I do have regrets. Not for writing the truth, but that any of the past year had to happen at all. Whatever part I played in causing it to occur I apologize for. I have searched my soul plenty of times wondering what I had done, and nothing concrete except for one note I had written could be found. I had previously apologized for that on one of my entries. I ask for forgiveness for my role in the destruction of us, whatever I did.
I still have not a clue what my future will be. I have no dreams of finding another lover or a new love life. Just getting by day to day is a challenge. My finances are still majorly sucking and I have not been able to make a dent on changing that. I work, I sleep and move through my days. That does not mean I am depressed, far from it. Just still working out the kinks. Eventually something will click for me, it cannot be forced.
R, I am not sure what your status currently is, you maintain a wall of silence, which is your choice. I still believe in karma, and so should you. The person I thought I knew for 9 years did, but that was then, this is now.
In a way I am sad for you. I think you made the wrong decisions for momentary pleasure. I still believe that effort could have made a difference in the us that used to be. Far easier to start over then to make that happen, and that is the path you chose. Good luck with your decisions.
I am praying that self control reigns supreme and I won't have further to add.
"Simply a Life" is and should be about me, not you, and I try to keep it so.
This blog of painful tears, trying to understand and put things together in my own mind to heal, is hopefully complete. I've beat it against the wall long enough. Whomever keeps re-reading Innocents and The Girl who thinks she is the Exception, your unspoken message remains unclear, and I am through pondering why you do it. You are welcome to explain, but I believe you won't. Nothing was made up or untrue, it is what it is, or was.
~*k
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