into the light

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Flying Solo

After my dentist appointment today I took a long drive by myself.  It felt strange, the last several times I had driven to Pennsylvania I had a passenger. I listened to music, kicked back, and did some thinking..well..I had to..if I had talked to myself it would have been very weird. The last time I was solo for long drives was when my Mother was alive, and I would drive over to Virginia from Southern Maryland.  This felt different. I was not celebrating my freedom as I was then, and though I like my car, he is not the Eclipse..that car made me feel damn naughty.  Something about her just struck a chord in me, setting the wildness free. Joker is not a bad car, but it does not feel the same driving 75 mph in him as it did Blue.

I pondered the lack of the sense of freedom throughout the drive. True, I had to answer to no one about where I was going, or when I would return..but it did not bring smiles this time, nor sadness, just introspection.   I sang, I seat danced, when the music called for it, but mostly it just felt like something or someone was absent. Maybe next time I will drive a different direction, explore some place new.

Wiggling my tail feather at truckers used to be fun. Hmmm..maybe I should rent a sports car...lol.