I never thought to ask

I know that several times previously I have mentioned R as being my best friend.  I've asked how he could do that to a best friend, I've mentioned missing my best friend. But I never thought to ask him what I was to him. Was I also his best friend? Or do men not perceive women partners as friends as well as lovers?  I'm confused, I thought that you could be both, I did not think that there were limitations to facets of a relationship.

I've offered friendship again, several times, but it really seems to me that he prefers to keep a huge distance between us.  I'd like to say " dude..I'm away. I have a years lease signed. I am obviously no longer a threat to you. You don't have anything left to hide."  The one response I did received seemed just a 'sure' answer..non-committal, given maybe to make me stop asking. We used to talk about everything together, politics, the world, life in general..for hours.

I have a number of women best friends.  I truly have been blessed with quite a few wonderful friendships throughout my life. Being  best friends with a man is rare for me. Maybe men don't see friendships as  'best',  they are simply friends;  old friends, co-workers, new friends. Do men share the same closeness with other men? Or is it a macho thing considered too girly to share like that?

Just thoughts..because I did forget to ask. I presumed, and that makes an ass out of me. It might be that he never felt or thought of me that way, a gender difference. Or, it simply might be that he prefers his past to stay out of his new life. I kind of blend all parts of my life together. There is no separation, all of it makes me who I am today.

Goodnite all,
k

Song dedication today: Best friend, by Harry Nilsson
"People let me tell about my best friend"..from Courtship of
Eddie's father..a very old tv show.