Me, myself and I

 So, time has obviously gone by since that horrible ending in 2011. I live alone and I have found peace within myself at 66. For those folks who wonder, no, I never dated or searched for another partner. During early days I thought about it a few times but ultimately talked myself out of dating again.

I realized that the damage was too great. I just knew that I'd be unable to trust another man, and couldn't bear the thought of trying and failing, which would be unfair to both of us even if he was not like my past partner.

So I'm alone but not unhappy. I never have to feel betrayal like that again. Never have to live with someone who gaslighted me and blamed me for his actions. I've actually learned a lot about people who do that. I deserve better than a morally broken man .

As I've stated in other posts, I'm partially to blame for not wanting love to die. I could have left and should have. Now a days this is all a very bad memory that I wish I could erase from my mind. Kind of hard to erase 9 years. I danced in limbo until a bad fall messed up my back and then after Covid I retired young. 

So yeah, I'm on my own and have peace of mind. If by some warped reality we had stayed together I never would have obtained it. There was always some crisis always of his making happening all the time, and it usually took my finances to fix it. I can't believe how much I spent on speeding tickets, past child support, his back taxes, his vehicle always needing tires, brakes, etc.  If left to his own devices he would have done something stupid like a robbery.

Guess his new partner must keep him straight, good for her it's a full time job, and expensive. But his life of main character energy is likely over, hopefully he got over his Don Juan life style and settled down. But this woman wouldn't bet on that.

Cheers! To all visitors passing through. I wish you happy lives without drama. Believe me peaceful is 100 % better.

Not a good idea

 Sometimes I like to review which posts were the most looked at out of curiosity. Then I reread them to remind me what my previous written posts were about. For the most part it doesn't bother me. But tonight a couple of them rekindled bad memories. So, not a good idea. I have long past stopped thinking about the ex asshole at all. ( Yes when I refer to him in conversation I never use his name, just ex asshole.)

Ha, sad that he can still piss me off even after all these years. My biggest regret of those 9 years is that I wasted them on someone so undeserving. I can't get that wasted time back, nor can I pretend happy memories.

So once again I'm staying away for my own peace of mind. Oh, private message, I am not Diane who never stopped trying to be revelant by stalking your life. It's a pitiful waste of time to chase after a loser like you .

Ha!

  Sometimes I get bored and check the stats on my 3 blogs. Sometimes I read the posts that have been viewed to refresh my memory. All I can say is I'm glad that this is buried deep, padlocked in a cast iron trunk, and the directions to it's location were lost. 

Seriously? I can't even remember that Nickelback song. And I don't give 2 hoots about the person who was responsible for this out pouring of grief and bitterness. Not worth a second of thought. I'm only here, as I stated above, out of curiosity. It's been 14 years, and frankly I can't remember what I wrote which is why I revisit to see what I had said.

As far as I can tell, the man who had my heart back then has evolved into someone entirely unattractive in my estimation. If I had somehow stayed there I would have had to leave. His beliefs are far removed from mine, I mean far, like from earth to the moon far. He's styled himself as a Dukes of hazard cousin, including a huge bush of old man beard. Attractive? No. Mentally interesting? Hell No. He swallowed a QANON pill.

So now I guess I can say that I got lucky to be kicked to the curb. My only regrets were having to leave my fur babies behind, and one (missing) baseball bat that I had purchased for home security. Did it make him a hero to give it away? Nope, still a phoney.

Adios people. Revisiting this blog is no longer something I enjoy.

And still

 Nothing of any revelance is being posted here, as can be  seen by the lengthy gaps between posts. Not even sure why you would be checking. Life boring and need some drama? I suggest you make your own drama and keep it to yourself.

 I'm finished with you ZZ top. Wear your Maga gear and clutch your preferred firearm. Tell the world how absolutely brilliant you are, while I say a little prayer in gratitude that I missed the transmutation into hillbilly. How far you fell and how fast it happened.

Now, go away or I shall taunt you a second time.

Go

Go away creeper. Nothing new here. No shocking or derisive comments are being posted regarding you.

 I do my best to believe those wasted years never happened. You are not, and never was good enough to be part of my life. The waste part was you.

Oh look! She's writing again

 Just a note, an observation really. I rarely, and I mean rarely, wonder what the devil might be up to. So I quietly visit your page. Never to comment and start a war of painful words, but I sometimes get curious. Boy did I luck out. Not sure what you have transformed into but what the hell? How can someone who was so excited about Obama in 2009 become a blazing Trumper?

 I'm going to guess that it's your addiction to conspiracy theories.  And Don the Con fills that bill. Blinded by lies.  He's a criminal, a snake oil salesman and the biggest liar this country has ever seen. That you believe is mind blowing. I thought you had a bigger brain than that. 

Your hero is blatantly guilty of sedition and conspiracy to commit treason. How can anyone not see that. I knew back in 2016 that he wanted to be king. That he openly admires dictators. A Fascist through and through. I hope that he spends the rest of his life in prison where he belongs. Lies, you believe the lies.  So sad and unfortunate.

Glad you've found your happy. Sad that you still entangle yourself in conspiracy theories.

K

Update: Now we can add pedophile to his list of evil. You sure can pick em. He wants to be a dictator, and is following the directions of Project 2025 to get there. It sucks for every single person who doesn't make millions in this country. Young girls were not safe around him, or his best buddy Jeffrey. His application to hell is already filled out. I pray for this country during this evil empire, and for all the good people he's hurt. Thank God he'll die soon, I'm counting down the days until his body just quits.

It's been ages

Seems like years I guess that's because it has been years. Do I miss him at all? No. Does my head fume and stomach burn when he does occasionally float through my wandering thoughts? No. Time truly does heal all wounds if you wait long enough. We were never right for each other. The sex was pretty good but that was in comparison to the crappy sex I had before him.

An M.D. once told me that 98% of sex is between your ears, and it's true. If you are not attracted to, horny for, or just excited about your partner, then you will not experience pleasurable sex. So the guys who just point and hump away like you are a game of corn hole and he has to whack away, don't understand what a woman really needs.And if they never learn, they never will. He engaged my brain, and that did it for me. Dirty whispers work.  However dishonesty was a killer of those thoughts. If I cannot trust you, then I shut off. My trying to jump start my brain failed because he had already moved on with number 3, I just hated to realize that I had picked a loser and giving up was the right thing to do. 

I'm glad. I found peace within myself. I enjoy alone time. Good thing too since the Covid 19 virus has kind of forced alone time for all of us. I'm careful,  I mask when out in public, wash my hands when I return home. No hanging out with crowds. I have tested negative recently. I hope that everyone sees this as an opportunity to help, be kind to your fellow human beings by being respectful of their health too. Wearing a mask is not a punishment or an infringement of your rights. It's sharing the responsibility of protecting everyone's health, and moving towards the demise of the Covid virus.

I could not end this update without a little snark. I often picture this when I think of him. If makes me snort and laugh out loud. Since I am sure he no longer follows my blogs, (there is no drama to respond to) I feel ok with sharing this, Bahahaha!

Kel