the heart of the matter

Not much going on, too introspective today. A thought popped into my head...and I decided to share it. I believe all this pain, all this heart ache that has been documented here can be explained quite simply...it was not me. It was not me that fell out of love. It was not me that found someone else, and replaced him. It was not me who tore apart a good relationship.

I never stopped loving him, even during tough times, times that hurt me. My heart had plenty of room to forgive, and to stay together. I sometimes wish that this winter could be replayed and corrected. I never stopped believing in him. He stopped believing in me. I had a powerful love that survived some hurtful times. I had a heart that stood beside him, no matter what he did.

That heart would have hurtled over and moved on, allowing us to grow past his mid-life crisis. But..I was never given a chance. What hurts the most is that the potential for love, and growing together was a singular choice to destroy and discard.

I miss that love.

We were two parts of a whole. Even our thoughts were in sync, seeming to be thinking along the same lines quite often. I wish sometimes that he had not given up on me without trying.

There was nothing we could not have overcome together.

That's all I have to say.

k